My kids so enjoy reminding me of my antiquity. Sometimes I feel even older than they think I am, but other times I feel like a spring chicken (OK, maybe a summer chicken). But am I indeed OLD?
I've decided to make up a short quiz to help me figure out if my kids are right about me. Feel free to take it yourself to see where you rate on the age-o-meter:
1) Do you believe the waistband of your pants should be worn at your waist?
2) Have you ever thought you needed a bikini wax to wear a pair of jeans purchased at the mall?
3) Have you ever had a conversation with your friends or spouse in which you discussed fiber, gums, or your colon?
4) Have you ever had a banana seat or thought of committing a felony to get one?
5) Are you old enough to be the parent of any of your kids' teachers?
6) Have you ever uttered any of the following phrases:
* "You'll poke your eye out"
* "Because I said so"
* "You'll catch your death"
* "Turn that down"
* "No, you cannot get that pierced"
* "Not till you're 30"
7) Do you still have some old cassette tapes lying around?
8) Are any of them Olivia Newton John?
9) Do you remember watching the following movies as an annual event:
* Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang
* The Wizard of Oz
* seasonal Charlie Brown specials
10)For these movies, do you remember having popcorn that was made on the stove?
11)Did you ever watch the same movie 35 times in a week when HBO first came on the scene?
12)When playing Atari Pong, did you think things just couldn't get any better?
13)Was there a time in your life when "wings" was a hairstyle term and not a maxi-pad feature?
14)Do you know the words to the elevator music?
15)Have you ever purchased anything for a penny?
To calculate your score, add up the number of 'yes' responses. If
0: What are you doing reading this, it's past your bedtime.
1 - 5: You probably still hold your breath when driving past a cemetery.
6 - 10: You've probably priced plots in a cemetery. Stop dragging your feet and commit to buying one already.
11+: Time to outfit your plot with wireless and get comfy.
Oh my God. My kids are right.
Roughneck Grace Column Update
16 hours ago