Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mundanity Analysis. Dissection of a To-Do List.

In the interest of pointing and laughing at myself, I thought I would dissect and analyze a To-Do list of mine from earlier this week:

At 6:45, see onto the bus 5 fed, dressed, hair-combed, teeth-brushed, dishes-put-away, backpacks-and-lunches-packed teenagers.
Laugh maniacally as I wave to the busdriver.

Critter Care
Water to the rabbits-let Annabelle out of the barn-scoop worst of manure out of barn-let chicks out of hut into Chick Shack-top off chick feed and water-check swelling of Finn's nether-regions.

Drop Off Daniel
At 8:20, see into the car 1 fed, dressed, hair-combed, teeth-brushed, dishes-put-away, backpack-and-lunch-packed preteen.
Drive to school 20 minutes away.
Laugh maniacally as he disappears into the building.

In a woefully inadequate nod to the exercise this ol' body so desperately needs, I planned on walking a few laps at the park with a friend. Unfortunately, it began raining most of the way through our first lap. As the rain fell upon us, our saunter turned quickly into a stroll, the heartrate equivalent, for us, of running a 5k.

Pet Store
Buy 50 lb bag of rabbit feed, 3 boxes of crickets, 20 lb bag of cat food, 20 lb box of cat litter, 3 - 35 lb bags of dog food, 50 lb bag of chick feed.
Wonder to self why it is chick feed but dog food.

Grocery Store
Buy (cough, cough) dollars worth of groceries to pour down the throats of my 6 bottomless pit kids. Bring all groceries into house-put all food away-dispose of all questionable leftovers-flatten and put in recycle bin all the cardboard packages. Silently marvel at what a non-stop fiesta my life has become.

Make 2 Pies
Make 2 banana pudding pies. One for my brood to devour in about 5 minutes after school and one for neighbor.
Lick pudding and Cool Whip from my fingers.
Giggle while watching goats fight over banana peels.

Get Eggs/Drop Off Food
Buy weekly 4 dozen eggs from neighbor Sarah.
Drop off chicken noodle casserole and banana pudding pie to her.
Recall last night's conversation with husband:
Fred: What are you making that casserole for? We already had dinner.
Me: It's not for us, it's for Sarah. She just had a baby.
F: Sarah the Amish neighbor?
Me: Yes.
F: How many kids is this for her?
Me: 5.
F: Well since we have 6, shouldn't she be making YOU a casserole?
Me: That's not the point, she .... oh never mind ....

Pick up Daniel
Drive 20 mins out to school to pick up youngest. Listen attentively while he regales me with tales of his day.

Make Dinner
Since hubs not home, make "kids dinner" on autopilot: mac-n-cheese, hot dogs, carrots and applesauce .
I know, I know, I could make this meal blind-folded with one hand tied behind my back.
On rollerblades.
With a fork shoved in my ear.
With 6 kids making demands of me every third second.
Oh wait. That's every time.

Take James and Julie to CCD. Silently send up prayers of thanks to the Almighty that religious education will soon be a thing of the past for us.
Tonight is what?
Parent visitation night?
Yes, I so had that on my calendar. Which is apparent from my hairstyle (finger-in-the-electric-socket-look), my make-up (as in, not a scrap), and my style of dress (ancient brown corduroys with splashes of green paint flopping soggily above my nasty barn shoes).

Get literature and lecture on the Lent Triduum, with "Ideas for My Family to Celebrate" Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday, including but not limited to
prayer and scripture reading, evening masses, Adoration with family, silence between noon and 3pm, acts of charity, fast and abstinence, afternoon masses, be peaceful....

Bad Catholic Bad Catholic Bad Catholic Bad Catholic

And where the hell did I leave my self-flagellation cat-o-nine-tails?

Decide: guilt or laughter.
Choose: Laughter.

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1 comment:

Mary K said...

Amazing...just amazing!
and you are an inspiration, and did I mention AMAZING!

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