Thursday, August 4, 2011

Summer State of My Soul

Take the kids to the county fair. Watch tenderly over them as they eat cotton candy, ride the ferris wheel, pet the cows, win an arcade prize.

Listen to them whine when told they can't have five more dollars for an impossible-to-win arcade game or get the enormous plastic cup of over-priced beverage instead of the small paper one. Watch as half of the arm-and-a-leg-food gets thrown out because they're too excited to eat.

Watch as the kids splash and play in the crystal clear waters of our pool.

Moan as we scrub the algae off the pool floor for the bazillionth time because something in the pool's innards is busted and this pool business has become an all-work-and-no-play venture. The upside is I'm fairly certain that if we jumped in now, we would emerge with some sort of super powers.

Turn my face to the warmth of the sun, feel the sand in my toes. Hear the laughter of my children, hear the bells of the ice cream man, hear the pounding of the waves.
Remember growing up here.

Curse myself when the badge checker caught me unawares. Squirm in discomfort as we sit in the car covered in sand and salt. Deal with sad faces and whiny voices when I proclaim that this trip will be only about the beach and not about souvenirs or mini golf.

Pick a red tomato off the vine. Exclaim with surprise at the size of the cucumber my child just found under all the vines. Smell the basil. Smell the mint. Tie up the cherry tomato branches that were wandering everywhere. Marvel at the bounty.

Pull weeds in my sleep. Feel the shame as I watch a dog-walking neighbor eyeballing at my sad little garden. Make a note to self that perhaps next year I should plant it somewhere out of sight to passers-by.

Feel my heart soften as I watch Sunny follow Patrick everywhere and gaze at him with worship in her eyes. Melt as I look at the sofa and see a tangle of children and dogs sprawled out in a cozy heap, melding into one another.

Yell and stomp and chase a soaking-wet-just-returned-from-a-dip-in-the-radioactive-pool-puppy off the couch. Sigh as I see dog hair in every corner of every room. Cringe as I fork over the cash at the pet store for yet another bag of hamster-dog-cat-coackatiel-rabbit-whatever-food.

Rejoice that there seems to be markedly decreased bickering among the kids.
Rejoice in finding some quiet time to write, to read.
Rejoice in finding some quiet time.

Charge myself with being a bad parent for not imposing screen restrictions this summer. Verbally abuse myself for allowing them to rot their brains almost unchecked as they sit on the couch enjoying FB, computer games, x-box games, texting, TV.....

I guess every good thing comes with a price.

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Sorry I'm missing a few pics. Ran out of time. 8-P


Mommy used to be so pretty... said...

LOVE IT! Hey, girl, heyyyy!

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Great post. Showing the ups and downs of life in a very easy to understand format. You must be a special woman to even be able to deal with all six of them at once. Wonderful.

farmbeachgal said...

Thanks Lynda. I try. I do try....

Sari, I miss you! I haven't been able to post comments on your blog in weeks! Pls don't think I'm not still reading and hanging on your every word.

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