Monday, January 30, 2012

Mirth Monday - Chris Rock

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.


If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to sh**. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f**king lactose intolerance?!

"I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherf**ker!

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!

That tiger ain't go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!
Talking about circus tiger that attacked Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy




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Quotes courtesy: www.brainyquote.com and wikiquote.org
Image courtesy: pastemagazine.com

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