Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to sh**. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f**king lactose intolerance?!
"I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherf**ker!
If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!
That tiger ain't go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!
Talking about circus tiger that attacked Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy
Ha ha ha, click, click, click.
Quotes courtesy: www.brainyquote.com and wikiquote.org
Image courtesy: pastemagazine.com
Happy Birthday Dennis
2 hours ago