One of my favorite comedians.
He is one sick, twisted, scary man. But my God.
“youre not a woman until people come out of your vagina and step on your dreams”
"Somebody called me an Indian giver recently. I don’t know if you’ve heard that expression. Since you were kids, but I remember we used to call each other— “Indian giver” is one of the most offensive things you could ever— because what it’s meant to be is that someone gave you something and then they changed their minds. That makes you an Indian giver. And we equate
this to the indians because our feeling is that they gave us America, and then they— well, they didn’t take it back, certainly. We got here and the indians were like, “hi.” And we were like, “hey, can we have everything ?” And they were like, “well, we don’t know what ‘have’ means, but enjoy all the things that you need, like we do.” So we start killing all of them. And they were like, “oh, dude, “could you not do that part where you kill all of us? ‘cause that’s kind of a drag for us.” And we’re like, “you guys are Indian givers! oh, my God! we’re gonna name that after you. You guys are dicks !”
"It’s true, everything that makes you happy is going to end at some point, and nothing good ends well. It’s like, if you buy a puppy, you’re bringing it home to your family’s saying, hey, look, everyone, we’re all gonna cry soon. Look at what I brought home. I brought home us crying in a few years. Here we go. Countdown to sorrow with a puppy.”
Quotes courtesy: http://louiequotes.tumblr.com/tagged/louis+ck and Facebook
1 hour ago