Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Things kids shouldn't know about ....

I was sorting strawberries with James and Julie a couple days ago, after picking a boatload of them at a local farm. As often happens, when their hands are busily engaged with work, their tongues move more freely. They shared with me some of the atrocities they've seen over the years at their orphanages. We adoptive parents like to think that, although not the same as a family and home, the orphange is not too bad a place for the kids. They keep them warm and safe and dry and fed. But when the love of a family is missing, terrible things can happen.
My kids told me of children slicing their arms with knives. Pushing needles into their bellies while being kept in "solitary confinement". Looking out the window to see a classmate swinging from a tree, rope around his neck and chair kicked out from under him, and having to run out with teachers and students to rescue him. They both knew of many kids who had hurt themselves, attempted suicide, or ended their lives violently. This is not a case of knowing someone who knew someone who tried it, this is being able to count the lost souls of kids you once knew.
With both hands and voice trembling, I assured my sweet kids that here they are safe and loved. I let them know that they could come to us with anything on their minds. Told them if they feel angry or sad we can talk with them and help them through their feelings.
At some point, when they have a little more English under their belts, I will take them to see a professional who can help them deal with the many things they've seen and experienced in their short lives. But for now, I hope lots of hugs and kisses and talking and snuggling will do the job of making them feel safe and secure and loved.


Lou Ann said...

Oh that just breaks my heart. Both for your children to have lived it and the children still in Kaz that live it every day. I'm so blessed to have my Lexie and to have adopted her at one where she won't have to deal with the memories your Julie & James do. I'm sure having your family to guide them and support them through life will help them grow into strong, productive and happy adults. I wonder what they will do with their lives?

God Bless you and your family.

Lou Ann & Lexie from Aktau Kaz

markkris said...


I sat at my computer with tears in my eyes. I have been told the same thing and can't wait to get my arms around my girls and have the opportunity to love them like you are loving your kids!


Adoptive Parent said...

Oh Anne, that gives me the 'bad kind' of goosebumps and makes me feel so sad to know all the things they've lived through. They are so very young and yet they have experienced things that we only see in the movies.

I will focus my prayers on those children who are left behind in the orphanages.


Susan said...

oh my gosh, I feel sick to my stomach. Leeza's baby house only went to age 3, and in her room, I only saw that these women LOVED these children, and I had to earn their trust and I noticed how they watched us with Leeza,and only after several weeks did they open up and "let me in". I could tell they wanted to see for themselves first if we loved Leeza. I'm so glad James and Julie have you as their family now. So heartbreaking and just awful to think about.

Lori Printy said...

Christ Anne, it makes me sick to think about it. You've got strong kids but no kid should have to be THAT strong. Hug James and Julie twice for me.

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