Last batch....

OK, guys, I'm hoping to finish up the edits tonight. Sorry if you're getting a whole bunch of notices of new posts.

Bashing My Head Against a Wall of Hatred

My friend Lori, from Five of My Own, recently came under fire from a blogger named - ironically - Joy who describes herself as "pro-adoptee". Until she tagged herself as such, I thought (from the few things I had read by her) she was anti-adoption. Her ranting post against Lori was filled with rambling, name-calling, f-bomb-laden insanity in which she accused Lori of being a racist, a baby-buyer, and more.

In Lori's defense, I thought I would jump in and say a thing or two. It turned into a back and forth debate that spanned a couple days but sadly, got nowhere. After several verbal (well, written) volleys, I decided to try to end things by seeing if we could find some middle ground. A meeting of the minds, as it were. I figured, she feels like she is an advocate of adopted kids, as do I, so maybe if we could better understand each other's perspective on some level, we would all benefit.

What follows is the end of my post, and then her response:


So why don’t we try something new and stop making assumptions about each other?

I’ll go first. I consider myself an adoption advocate. That pretty much means that I am all for adoption, and I try to open people’s hearts to the concept that maybe they could adopt,or foster. There are so many kids in this world without families. Way too many. If I could find a genie to grant me a wish, it would be that every child could have at least one loving, capable parent. But I’m not running around rubbing lamps. Instead, I write, and I try to get people to think that maybe they could make a difference. That’s prety much my entire platform.

But what about you? You seem like a reasonably intelligent person. You say you are not anti-adoption, but when I read phrases like “doll-buying bitches”, what am I left to think? It was only after reading several things from you that it came across that you are “pro-adoptee”. And I still really don’t know what that means. I would love for you to teach me. For if I hope to advocate for adoption at all, how can I do that effectively if I don’t know all there is to know from every angle?

But Joy, teach me, do not alienate me, and then I’ll be one more person who can help to advocate. Let’s face it, you want the best for the kids, I want the best for the kids. It seems you and I have different ideas about what “best” means, but I would like to understand. Because I just don’t. All I see is hatred and anger. Help me to better teach those in society (but again, NOT the other APs/PAPs I have met) that we are not saving them, they are not lucky we adopted them, they should not be grateful to us, we are not saints. Society is filled with this viewpoint. I just don’t see APs/PAPs as the enemy.


November 4, 2011 5:44
Anne, dude you are sick in the head, no?

I can’t even believe your comment or that you expect to be taken seriously. If you wanted the best for kids you would do that.

I can’t even relate to you, your type of personality is so foreign to me. NO! my adoptive parents are nothing like you, they are way more sophisticated and kind and you are sicking me the f*** out. Really, what the f*** is wrong with you?

You don’t need me to educate you, there are plenty of adoptee blogs that aren’t as offensive as mine. I don’t want to “help” you , you make me sickened. How dare you come here and spew your stupid crap? Really how dare you? Okay racist cow, go have fun making light of adoptee issues elsewhere and f*** right off. I hope you get bit by the nasty fleas in your own carpet. Good God Woman.



I decided right there was as good a time to jump off that train as any. Me? I'll grab any chance I can to share my thoughts on the value of adoption, b/c that's what I believe in. But "Joy"? Even when I asked her point blank to share with me her views, she couldn't do it, leaving me to wonder if she really has any.

I learned a couple days later that she wrote a whole long post about me. None too flattering, I can assure you

I didn’t post your picture because I have since joined the anti-hair-defamation league. Good God woman, it is not 1983 anymore. Hairbrushes are not as expensive as an adoptling.

and yet she still did not clarify what her views were.

And Joy, if you happen to be reading, there's more to pick on me for than my hair (I actually thought my hair looked pretty good in that picture, which shows how much I know). I can give you a list if you'd like: I'm overweight; my teeth are crooked and in no danger of blinding anyone with their whiteness; my clothes are old and out of style; my skin shows its age and then some; my hands look like they've been working in a barn (oh wait, they have been working in a barn)...

There's way more, but I'll not bore my readers by fleshing out that list any further. Suffice it to say I am neither elegant nor eloquent, I am far from perfect, and I'm actually OK with that. Clearly, appearances mean a lot to you. For me? Not so much.

As for the adoption issue, I guess no matter what it is you believe in, even when it's something as seemingly win-win as adoption, there are going to be those with an opposing viewpoint. I guess I would just like to know what that opposing viewpoint actually is.

Sigh. I guess I will never understand....








The only thing I do understand is that I just slipped a bit in the TMB rank. 8-(
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Image courtesy: kieranjamesshea.blogspot.com

Forgive me

I need to go through and make some editing changes in many of my old blog posts. For any of you that receive updates automatically, you may get inundated. Sorry!

Mirth Monday - Daylight Savings

At the risk of rehashing another old post and boring any readers who have been with me longer than six months, here is what I posted back in April, when we turned our clocks ahead.....



Last year I really screwed up the whole Daylight Savings thing.

I was planning a surprise party for James over at the bowling alley. Everything was going according to my well-laid plans when I got a call from one of his friends...
"Hey, Mrs. K, isn't the party starting at 1?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, cuz I'm here but no one else is."

"Well, you big goofball, it's only 12:15."

"No it's not. It's 1:15. We turned the clocks ahead last night."

Oh holy crap. Needless to say it was pretty ruined. We still managed to pull off a modicum of surprise by scrapping my original plans and changing things all around, but I went from one of those I'm-the-queen-of-the-universe moods to one of those I'm-a-big-bag-of-poop moods. And the rest of the day it stayed with me and just soured my whole weekend.

So this year I was sooooo ready for it. The kids had off school on Friday and we went to the bookstore and went to the movies and grabbed dinner out and in general kicked off our weekend a day early.

So when I hopped on the computer Fri night and realized that it was DST weekend, I immediately jumped up and started turning all the clocks ahead early. Hours early. I wasn't waiting till 2am. Or morning. I was taking no chances this year.

So the next morning rolled around and I woke up early and got Rosie up so she could get ready to go to play practice. We had breakfast and coffee and got dressed and brushed our teeth and she packed her lunch and off we drove to the school.

And when we got there the parking lot was empty. The doors were locked. She was knock-knock-knocking but wasn't nobody answering.

Ha! I thought.
I'm the only one out of all the play parents that remembered to turn the clocks ahead! What a bunch of nincumpoops they all are. I in my efficiency-glory laugh at them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Haha.

Ha........

Oh crap. The clocks get turned ahead on Saturday night. Last night was Friday night.

Big-bag-of-poop mood once again.

The upside was that since it didn't make sense to go all the way home again, we went to Starbucks instead. And we had coffee and breakfast
pay no attention to where I wrote we had coffee and breakfast at home already
Julie was with us, too, and of course the two of them were models of deportment blowing straw wrappers at each other and dribbling drool down their chins. Sometimes the wrappers misfired.
Rosie: Ewww, MOM, she spit liquid in my hair! I feel fluid in my locks.
Julie: It was by accidentally I did it! Wait. Logs? What's logs?
Me: Logs are blocks of wood, Julie. But she said locks.
Julie: Locks? Like combinations?
Me: No. Locks can mean hair.
Julie: Rosie has locks in her hair? I don't understand.

Me: Me neither. Come on, it's time to go back to the school.

And when we showed up "on time" I could have almost felt redeemed except that Rosie ratted me out to all her friends and the teachers involved.

Wonder how I can mess it up next year? I'm running out of ways. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Can't I just opt to save something else instead? I mean, do we alllll have to save the daylight?

I think it's redundant.



To my credit, friends, I managed to NOT screw it up this year! Saturday night I turned my bedside clock back, Sunday morning some of the clocks downstairs. Old dogs CAN be taught!!!




Just like I remembered to turn the clocks back ON TIME, I know you will remember to click the brown button to vote for me. Thanks!


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Sunday Social - Felice

Next one down on my siggy line...

Anne,
Wife of Fred for 23 years
Mom of:
Patrick (16)
James (16)
Rosie (13)
Bella(14)
Julie (13)
Daniel (12)
My children around the world:
Milly in Taiwan
Eun Hae in South Korea
Felice in Hong Kong
Nadya in Germany
Obrin in New York
And our critters Annabelle, Fiona, Sunny, Sophie, Cindy-Lou and Blue; Mamfy, Mali and Punkin; Nick; Frog 1 and Horny Toad; Charlie and Dizzy; Minnie and Alice; Elfie, Frex, Crope, Tibbit and Ozzy; Genevieve, Pippin and Finnegan; and a dozen or so chooks.

I'd like to ask God why He allows
hunger, poverty, and injustice
in the world,but I'd be afraid
He'd ask me the same thing ...


Is Felice.



















(Sorry about the sizing of the picture)

Felice, pronounced Phyllis, was our third international exchange student, and hailed from Hong Kong. She started out the academic year with a family in a different school district. When the host family experienced some family problems and were unable to continue hosting, Felice moved in with a temporary family in our school district. At that point, she and our student at the time Eun Hae became good friends in school.

Halloween night, as my kids were trading their loot, I got a call asking if I would be able to temporarily host Felice. I picked her up around 10 that night, and she never left.

She and Eun Hae were so close, and the agency was having so many problems finding another host family, that we decided to just go ahead and host her ourselves. What's one more, we thought. When we gave the girls the news, they were beyond thrilled.

We were happy for the girls, we were. Unfortunately, Felice didn't turn out to be the greatest exchange student we'd ever had. She tended to the moody side, and never really did form any close bonds with us or with any of our kids. She also, I thought, seemed to dominate our sweet and shy Eun Hae. Their relationship seemed to work for them, though, so I tried to keep a close eye on things, but give them some space to handle their friendship in their own way.

When she left, unlike all our other girls, we never heard from her again. At this point, five years later, I don't really know where she is or what she's up to. I hope she's well.

Felice, if you're out there, give us a shout! I'd love to hear what you're up to.




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