A few Mommy funnies for you to start your day with ....
"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
~ Phyllis Diller
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?-Roseanne
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.-Calvin Trillin
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.-Rita Rudner
It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.-Elinor Goulding Smith
Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.-Mae Maloo
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when the mother feels chilly.Barbara Johnson
One time I ran out of the store and took the bus home by myself after my mother asked a salesclerk where the 'underpants' counter was. Everyone in the store heard her. I had no choice.-Phyllis Theroux
Ha ha ha. Click click click.