The only way I can keep from slaughtering him would be to sell him down the river, which I'm considering very seriously.
I never wanted a rooster. I never ordered a rooster. I do not enjoy owning a rooster.
Oh, sure, her provides country ambience, and he's pretty to look at, but those are his only contributions and they do not tip the scales in his favor. Not one bit.
Couple days ago Rosie refilled the chicken waterer and took it to the barn to put in the Hen House. It has to be carried in two pieces, top and bottom, b/c if you put the top on and carry it by the handle, it could break. Don't look at me, I didn't design the thing. In addition to that, she was also carrying the egg basket She has three arms. It really comes in handy sometimes. filled with old cereal and yucky apples to give to my sweet chickadees. But since she doesn't have a fourth arm, she was unable to take the Rooster Tool into the Hen House with her. "Rooster Tool" being an old dustmop that we use to keep BD at bay.
So, talented child that she is, she managed to open the gate and step into the HenHouse with both pieces of the waterer as well as the egg basket, hoping BD would maybe, please God, behave himself for once.
That cantankerous roo started flying at Rosie, claws outstretched, beak agape, and squawking like a demon possessed by Lucifer himself. She kicked her foot out in self defense, but her slipper flew off her foot.
Yes, she wore slippers into the barn. Not the brightest move, but she does have three arms, so we keep her around.
The slipper failed to connect with Big Daddy in any meaningful way, so he came at her again. This time, with one slipper on and one bare foot, she swung the top of the waterer at him, but he was unimpressed and undeterred. He wanted children for breakfast. He could taste it and Rosie could see it clearly in the evil eye he had turned towards her.
Finally, in a flash of brilliance, or at least good old-fashioned common sense, she put everything down and retreated. She unhooked the Rooster Tool from its nail and re-entered the pen. Now she was the demon possessed as she flailed and screamed and swung the repurposed dust mop around her like a Ninja with nunchucks.
He backed off. He's crazy, not stupid.
So Rosie put the waterer together and put it back in its place. She fed the chooks the scraps and gathered the eggs. She collected her slipper, shook the shavings off of it, and replaced it on her foot. She gave Big Daddy one last menacing look. They stared at each other for a few heavy moments, each vowing silently that the other would, one day, get his.
And she returned to the house. A little dissheveled, a little menace in her eyes, but none the worse for wear.
They will meet again.
Please vote. I won't swing the dust mop at you if you don't, but still...
Like Mr. Rogers used to say (paraphrased), Won't - you be - my Followers?
A Little History
Quite frankly, I don't know what I was thinking at the time. We went from 3 kids by birth to "oh, let's adopt a 4th" without a whole lot of deliberation.
While adopting said 4th (in Kazakhstan), we met a young man of 8 yrs by the name of Borya. Thought he was a pretty nice kid and years later found out we could adopt him too. Only thing was, he came as a 2-in-1 package with his younger sister Ylia. What the hay, said we, and rushed headlong into the adoption process. Again. To adopt two kids that were 10 and 13 at the time.
Started a blog to keep track of where my head was in this adoption game. When Borya and Ylia arrived home, we were suddenly the proud parents of six kids, ages 9, 10, 11, 11, 13 and 13.
That was back in 2009, but I still blog. I figure what doesn't make us laugh makes us cry, and I'd rather be laughing.
Also? We live on a farm(ish) with a few dozen critters. You're just as likely to read a post about the farming side of things as you are the parenting side. Thought you might want to know in case you have allergies or something.
As for the structure of this blog, I pretty much post on a daily basis, and I tend to be all over the place in what I write about, so if it's nice, neat and compartmentalized you're looking for, be off with you now, you won't find it here.
I do have some structure, though, I'm not a total bohemian. I roll like this:
Mon: Mirth Monday. A little somethin' to make you chuckle.
Tues: Sometimes Adoption Tuesday, sometimes A Tip For Tuesday, sometimes random thoughts.
Weds: Wordless Wednesday. Usually a photo or some artwork from myself or one of my oh-so-talented children.
Thurs: all random, all the time.
Fri: Farm Friday. Speaks for itself.
Sat, Sun: More random musings.
Feel free to explore and don't be shy -- drop me a line to say hello, and be sure to add yourself as a follower. Feeds my ego in a big way. I'm very insecure.
Cast of Characters
Meet the fambly:
Our Family in 2009
I'm on Top Mommy Blogs!
An award? For ME?
The Lazy Mom Award for Most Popular Lazy Mom Tip of 2011 is.....