This morning there were arms wrapped tightly around my neck.
This morning there were salty sweet tears on my face.
This morning I cradled my baby in my lap, sitting on the top stair, and rocked her back and forth as she sobbed.
Last night, a nightmare.
Last night she dreamed that Mommy and Daddy got in a car and drove away, to leave her forever.
In the warm reality of her home, of my lap, she could put into words that she knew such a thing would never, could never, happen.
But in the quiet darkness of the night, her fears found her and took ahold of her and consumed her.
In a shadowy corner of her mind, these fears reside. Fragmented memories of a time before she could talk....
A cold, abandoned building.....
Another child, older, unknown.....
No coat.....
No food.....
No Mama, no Papa.....
And then,
A hospital....
Months and months, endless time stretching, stretching.....
Many men and women, unknown.....
Needles. So many needles. Her little angel hands bear witness still....
No Mama, no Papa.....
And then,
Detsky Dom.....
Many children, older, unknown......
Many women, Mamas, but all unknown .....
Months and months, stretched to years and years.....
No Mama, no Papa......
All of it, a nightmare.
All of it, a terrible dream.
Till one morning.
Mama....
Sitting in her lap....
Salty sweet tears on her face.....
Arms wrapped tightly around her neck....
Rocking back and forth.....
Waking from the nightmare.
Waking to her dream.
Waking to her life.
Waking to her Mama.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
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1 comment:
So moving! Glad to have found your blog!
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