Last year I really screwed up the whole Daylight Savings thing.
I was planning a surprise party for James over at the bowling alley. Everything was going according to my well-laid plans when I got a call from one of his friends...
"Hey, Mrs. G, isn't the party starting at 1?"
"Well, cuz I'm here but no one else is."
"Well, you big goofball, it's only 12:15."
"No it's not. It's 1:15. We turned the clocks ahead last night."
Oh holy crap. Needless to say it was pretty ruined. We still managed to pull off a modicum of surprise by scrapping my original plans and changing things all around, but I went from one of those I'm-the-queen-of-the-universe moods to one of those I'm-a-big-bag-of-poop moods. And the rest of the day it stayed with me and just soured my whole weekend.
So this year I was sooooo ready for it. The kids had off school on Friday and we went to the bookstore and went to the movies and grabbed dinner out and in general kicked off our weekend a day early.
So when I hopped on the computer Fri night and realized that it was DST weekend, I immediately jumped up and started turning all the clocks ahead early. Hours early. I wasn't waiting till 2am. Or morning. I was taking no chances this year.
So the next morning rolled around and I woke up early and got Rosie up so she could get ready to go to play practice. We had breakfast and coffee and got dressed and brushed our teeth and she packed her lunch and off we drove to the school.
And when we got there the parking lot was empty. The doors were locked. She was knock-knock-knocking but wasn't nobody answering.
Ha! I thought.
I'm the only one out of all the play parents that remembered to turn the clocks ahead! What a bunch of nincumpoops they all are. I in my efficiency-glory laugh at them.
Oh crap. The clocks get turned ahead on Saturday night. Last night was Friday night.
Big-bag-of-poop mood once again.
The upside was that since it didn't make sense to go all the way home again, we went to Starbucks instead. And we had coffee and breakfast
pay no attention to where I wrote we had coffee and breakfast at home already
Julie was with us, too, and of course the two of them were models of deportment blowing straw wrappers at each other and dribbling drool down their chins. Sometimes the wrappers misfired.
R: Ewww, MOM, she spit liquid in my hair! I feel fluid in my locks.
J: It was by accidentally I did it! Wait. Logs? What's logs?
Me: Logs are blocks of wood, Y. But she said locks.
J: Locks? Like combinations?
Me: No. Locks can mean hair.
R: Rosie has locks in her hair? I don't understand.
Me: Me neither. Come on, it's time to go back to the school.
And when we showed up "on time" I could have almost felt redeemed except that Rosie ratted me out to all her friends and the teachers involved.
Wonder how I can mess it up next year? I'm running out of ways. I'm sure I'll think of something.
Can't I just opt to save something else instead? I mean, do we alllll have to save the daylight?
I think it's redundant.
Tent Show Radio Tonight: John Prine
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